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“Getting lost is not a waste of time” – Jack Johnson

Sometimes I feel lost. I know, we all do once in a while, and it might not be a bad thing. The thing is, I like to be in control. If I am not in control, I tend to feel lost. Life happens to have a lot of situations where I am not in control.

In fact, sometimes I think I am fooling myself, and am not in control of anything. And on the rare occasion I am, I start doubting myself.

 

That’s right, the rare few things I have control over, I am unsure about.
For one, travelling. I have clearly chosen to live the unconventional life. And that makes me doubt. Should I have finished my studies, got a job, earned a reasonable income and bought a house? It’s good to ask yourself questions, but not to stick into the what ifs.

Asking myself this question, almost makes me laugh. No, I should not have. Looking back at my 22 year old, narrow-minded, arrogant self, I have no desire to go back there. As crappy as some of the travel conditions may have been, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not the experience, nor the person I have become.

 

Great Ocean Road

It’s been four years since I left my hometown. I left with great anxieties and fears of getting lost. And in this context I mean, literally, lost. It might be hard to understand just how bad my navigation actually is. But let me try and explain it, by telling you that as a child I would get lost on the way back from the supermarket.

As an 18 year old, I had to call up my sister in tears, and ask her how I could get to the cinema on my bike. Friends have had to call me, seeing me leaving their house, as I turned the exact opposite way I should have.

 

Working as a waitress, people would ask me how to get to places in my hometown. With red cheeks I’d have to admit I knew the place, but was unable to explain the way there.

My mum taught me to get points of recognition, so I wouldn’t lose my way. I had to learn the hard way, you should never look at cars, as they tend to move around.. Google maps is my lifesaver, and even though I’ve gotten a little bit better, panic starts to rise when my phone is out of battery.

 

South Australia

So you can imagine just how anxious I was, even to have to go to airports by myself. I would have a 10 hour layover in Dubai, and my colleague and I joked about how I shouldn’t go out of the airport in that time.

I would most probably end up somewhere on a camel in the desert, while the air hostess would be calling out my name for final boarding.

Miraculously it all went well, and I found my way. I find it laughable now that I used to be so overwhelmed by big stations or airports.

 

I might be anxious and bad at directions; I do have my willpower and stubbornness. If I want something, I do it. I won’t let anything get in the way of what I want. Not other people’s opinions, nor my fears.

Looking back at these four years, I have been lost many times. Sometimes literally, and sometimes in a matter of speaking. But most of these little ‘lost’ adventures, have brought me to better times.

Cycling around in the rain for hours, finding beautiful hidden gems I would’ve never come across, or finding my way back to myself. For once, turn left, where you’ve always turned right before.

 

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10 comments on “Getting lost is not a waste of time
  1. Daisy says:

    And i’m glad that i found.. You! X

  2. Amanda Queripel says:

    Well Nina I can relate to that. I like to be in control too. For myself most importantly. But hey maybe over our QUERIPEL men😜😂😂

  3. Monika says:

    I love this! <3
    I too have found many times that it's when I get lost when things actually shift in the right way and make me stronger. I am all for getting lost! (and I do get lost often, too 😉

  4. Karin says:

    What a wonderful review of the last four years. I hope you get lost more often in life, it brings you lots of beautiful surprises and you meet wonderful people. Five days to go and your no longer lost but back home again.
    Love from the home front.xxx

  5. Hans says:

    Ontroerend mooi geschreven verhaal en reacties. Trots op jou!

  6. Sabrina says:

    What a wonderful post. I am not good on explaining ways because I just find my way by such points of recognition – the problem is I see things other’s do not see. Walking the wrong way can lead to things you would not have find elsewhere.

    • nina says:

      Thank you for reading! True what you’re saying. Despite the fact it has brought me to tears more than once, when you accept it, the panic makes space for appreciation of the unknown.

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